Last Resort
by Sanoon
Summary: A songfic about Dib's horrible life. Dark fic, which ends in possible suicide. Enter with caution. The final chapter is up.
1. Last Resort

Sup everyone…well, that's it. Enjoy this dark story.

Author's Warning: If you're reading this, hoping for a happy, funny story, then you will be disappointed. This is an incredibly dark fic involving strong language and suicide. You have been warned. Also, Dib might be OOC, but I'm not completely sure.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim.

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Last Resort

A songfic by Sanoon

Band: Papa Roach

Song: Last Resort

Album: Infest

_Cut my life into pieces_

_This is my last resort_

_Suffocation, no breathing_

_Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding_

_This is my last resort_

_Cut my life into pieces_

_I've reached my last resort_

_Suffocation, no breathing_

_Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding_

_Do you even care if I die bleeding_

_Would it be wrong, would it be right._

_If I took my life tonight_

_Chances are that I might_

_Mutilation out of sight_

_And I'm contemplating suicide_

My life is a living hell. I guess that would be the lesson in a nutshell. My family, the kids at Skool, and the people that walk the streets…they all mock me. They criticize me. They destroy my hopes and dreams.  
Then there's Zim. I always try my hardest to expose him, but no one seems to care. They disregard every piece of evidence I have. No matter what I present them with, they disregard it as trash. After years of this treatment, I guess, I have come to realize how miserable I am. How hard it is to wake up every morning to go to Skool, only to meet the kids who try to make my life miserable.

_'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

I wasn't always this way. I was once happy. But that was a long time ago. Back when my mom was still alive. She was always nice to me. She was always happy for me. She always congratulated me on my findings, even if it was nothing at all. But that was back when I was little. I didn't grasp as much as I do now. Dad always told her to stop telling me such stories, that none of it was real, but the way mom told me the stories…she was so believable, so trusting. Almost like anything she said was true. Come to think of it, she was the one who started my obsession with the supernatural. She told me about everything. Her stories of ghost, mythical creatures, aliens, and the like always filled me with a strange feeling. A feeling of confusion…confusion that I had to answer.

_I never realized I was spread too thin_

_Till it was too late, and I was empty within_

_Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin_

_Downward spiral, where do I begin_

_It all started when I lost my mother_

_No love for myself, and a love for another_

_Searching, to find a love upon a higher level_

_Finding nothing but questions and devils_

It was hard after mom died. The family broke apart. Maybe not physically, but…emotionally. Dad turned science into his life. Whatever he was doing was always for the good of science. Gaz lost herself in virtual reality. She always had a game system in her hands. I started to try harder to discover the truth about the supernatural. More than I ever did when mom was alive. I…guess…everything I did was for her. Yet, after her death, I needed someone to tell me that everything was fine, that everything would eventually go back to normal. But with Dad always gone, and Gaz's hatred of all things me, I had no one. I was all alone…with no one to console me. No one to tell me that I would be fine, and that my life was going to be great. Did that mean I was worthless to everyone?

'_Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Nothing's alright, Nothing is fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying_

_I'm crying, I'm crying_

_I'm crying, I'm crying_

_I. Cant. Go. On. Living. This. Way._

Zim…he was a great breakthrough for me. He raised my hopes. He reinforced my belief in the truth. He was an alien, on Earth. Even better, he went to Skool, the same class as me. I was handed truth…and I showed my discovery to the Skool…the world. The response I got…I wasn't expecting. Mockery, humiliation, shame, and in a way…banishment. They tried their hardest to make it so that I wouldn't become one of them, and it worked.

_Cut my life into pieces_

_This is my last resort_

_Suffocation, no breathing_

_Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding_

I was always following him, I was always trying to stop him. Every crappy plan he had, every failure of an attempt he had…I stopped him. My reward…more mockery, humiliation, and shame. Rewards? That's not what I would call them. Punishment for a good deed sounds better. I'm not sure if there is a word for it, but that is what it is called. I save them, and they attack me. What's the point?

_Would it be wrong, would it be right._

_If I took my life tonight_

_Chances are that I might_

_Mutilation out of sight_

_And I'm contemplating suicide_

Years of following Zim, exposing him to the world, and the world ignoring me. It was a repetitive cycle. It even amused Zim that my own race didn't believe in me. Everything is leading to this moment. Was my life a waste? Was my life nothing? I'm starting to not care now. The people I protect, I don't care about anymore.

'_Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

_Losing my sight, losing my mind_

_Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

So now I stand, out on the hill of the park, knife in hand. Waiting. The stars are shining brightly. Just like the day when I first looked into the sky with my mom…mom. She started this. She gave me my obsession…Can I blame her? No…no I can't. Everything that has happened has been a direct cause of my actions. Blaming mom…would be pointless. This isn't her fault. It's the world's fault. Now I wait. Wait for the moment when I've had enough. I've already left a note at home. I wonder if anyone will find it? Either way, it won't stop the inevitable.

_Nothing's alright, Nothing is fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying_

_I! Cant! Go! On! Living! This! Way!_

My watch says midnight. I've waited long enough. The knife is getting restless in my hand. I'm sure Zim will be dancing in glee after tonight. I don't want to give him that pleasure, but…it's pointless. No one believes me. It's pointless.  
My urge to stop Zim has passed. Now I have nothing left. The voice in the back of my head has been trying to stop me from commencing with this act. But, an hour ago…it stopped. It too even realized the fruitlessness of its attempts. I lift the knife above my head. The target, the heart. That's where all my pain is based, and the knife will release it. Hesitation…why? Another presence? I look around, only to see the empty shadows. Now, to end the pain…something that I have always wanted to do. In the past, I would have done it differently. But that's behind me now. I thrust the knife towards my chest, and close my eyes, so that I don't see…

_Can't go on_

_Living this way_

_Nothing's all…right!

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The end…or is it? No seriously…is it? I might add a second chapter, based on the reactions I receive from your reviews. (Wink-wink) I like it though, did he die, or will something prevent him from performing his final act? Thanks for reading. Ohh, yeah…review please.

Posted 1/2/06


	2. What Happened?

Hello all, and prepare, for an ending like you won't believe. Actually, you might believe it, or not. I don't care, as long as it amuses you. That's all I'm hoping for, is to place a short-term form of amusement in your life.

Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim, blah-blah-blah.

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Last Resort

An endfic by Sanoon (Is that even a real fic type?)

Gaz walked down from her room, yawning. A month has passed since the 'incident' concerning Dib. Gaz was already over it. Even that event didn't make her care any more about Dib, her own brother, her own flesh and blood. She slowly walked to the kitchen, grabbed a box of cereal, and poured herself a bowl. Actually, she liked it now that Dib was gone. She was never interrupted when she was playing her Gameslave. She was always alone, just like how she always wanted to be. Sure, it got lonely, but Gaz always found way's to feel that there was someone else there, thanks to her Gameslave.

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Zim opened his fridge, and pulled out a sugary snack. Zim had been taking it easy since Dib's 'accident'. With no one to stop him, he had all the time in the world to bring about its doom. He went into his living room, and sat on the couch. GIR was already in the room, watching the Scary Monkey Show. Zim sighed, and grabbed the remote. Much to GIR's dismay, Zim started flipping through the channels. Their had to be something sad and depressing on the news. Zim loved how the humans always played such bad events on the TV. It brought pleasure to Zim to see human suffering. Zim started eating his snacks. He had time. His plan was almost completed, and with no Dib, he could take all the time he wanted…

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Skool proceeded as normal. There was no class grieving, no sorrow. Everyone acted as if Dib hadn't even existed. Zim loved it. Humans couldn't care less about each other. No one ever mentioned Dib. Mrs. Bitters had even placed someone else at Dib's desk two days after the 'accident'. No one cared.

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Dib sighed. His life was already horrible, but this was just too evil. 'Was this really necessary?' Dib thought to himself. 'Sure, I almost committed suicide, but throwing me in a mental hospital for safety reasons. Why? It was bad enough I survived. When Gaz found the note, it was just adding insult to injury. Why? Why did that stupid robot have to save me? That stupid robot. It was hiding in the bushes. Why? Zim's 'loyal' servant left the base and went to the park that night. It was just a coincidence that GIR found me. It was strange, though, that GIR stopped me from stabbing myself at the last minute. Why? Why did that stupid robot do that? I'm now doomed to a horrible existence in this hell-hole. It's been one month already, and I'm already sick of it. I was sick of this place since the first day.'

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Surprised? Is this the ending you were expecting? Not much brighter, but still, brighter nonetheless. Thanks for reading…and review please. 


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